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The Lessons of Time

Last Wednesday we had the pleasure of interviewing Mrs. B, a woman from Rossmoor. Born in1920, Mrs. B grew up in a two story, four bedroom house with one bathroom. As a child, she attended the Sisters of Immaculate Heart of Mary Elementary School. As a result of the Depression, her family was unable to pay for her to attend boarding school, so she earned her way by cleaning and shining the floor of the recreation hall. Afterwards, she received a scholarship for her remaining 3 years, which covered her full tuition and room and board. She then received a scholarship to attend Marygrove College in Detroit, and earned a BS and a BA. Although she majored in Biology, because of the times, it was more practical for her to become a teacher. In 1941 Mrs. B graduated and went on to teach First Grade.

Introduced by a neighbor, Mrs. B and her future husband went on their first blind date together in 1939. Her husband, Bob, was soon drafted for World War II in October 1941. In 1943 Mr. B was sent to London for two years. While he was there, Mrs. B gave birth to their first born son, who was not able to see his father for the first two years of his life. After that, Mrs. B and Bob went on to have a total of five children, whom they raised in Orinda, California.

When asked about her social life, Mrs. B said that she was very restricted as a result of attending an all girls boarding school for so many years. In fact, she said that she did not even meet young men until she reached college. This was interesting to us because, like her, we attend an all girls school. However, our experiences in such an environment have obviously been quite different, as we interact with boys on a daily basis.

Another piece of information that was interesting was the fact that she did not even consider at the time of her youth whether men were superior or not. She went about her own life, and did not give much thought to the role of men versus women in society. That was just the way things were, and did not seem unusual to her. In retrospect, she now notices, however, that women now are more liberated and valued.

When asked about society's view on marriage when she was a young woman, Mrs. B replied with an answer that surprised us. She said that at that time the average age of women when they got married was 21, and by the age of 25 a woman was considered too old to be getting married. In contrast, now women at the age of 25 are just getting out of school and not nearly as concerned with getting married, but rather how to start their career. This makes sense, however, because starting a career as a woman in her days meant starting a family. The traditional role of a woman was to be a wife and mother, in charge of the household responsibilities. To this day, Mrs. B still believes that this is the role women should have.

Fortunately, when Mrs. B was a young woman, there was hardly any talk of cancer or sexually transmitted diseases. The biggest health concerns of the time were polio and tuberculosis, and pregnancy was not a concern, but rather considered normal. Something that was very interesting for us to hear was that if any member of a household was infected with a contagious disease, the entire house was marked. Signs were hung on the front door, and none of the members were allowed out until the sick member was well again.

While everything Mrs. B had to share with us was very interesting, the aspect of her life that was the most fascinating for us was how she now spends her time and what she has been up to since retiring. In 1996, she was sponsored by St. Anne's to take pastoral ministry classes. This opened up a whole new way of connecting with and helping others, something she has always enjoyed. She also now loves to read, do needlepoint, and watch television. Some of her favorite programs include Jeopardy, Wheel of Fortune, Mash, and Oprah. Our favorite story, however, was about her travels. While her favorite place that she has been is Switzerland, Rome was where she had one of the most amazing experiences of her life: she was able to shake hands with Mother Teresa and Our Holy Father.

We thoroughly enjoyed our time with Mrs. B and are eternally grateful for her sharing her experiences with us. Often the most valuable and pertinent lessons in life can be learned through the lives of others, and Mrs. B taught us how to truly enjoy life, despite any obstacles that may occur.